What Real Men Are Not: Things Mature Men Don’t Do

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One of the things a younger Kobe Bryant was known for was his intense desire to be the greatest player ever. One might say he was egotistical and that his ego caused a lot of friction between him and other NBA players, most notably Shaquille O’Neal. But as the years passed, he matured and realized that while there was merit to being the greatest of all time, he developed a sense of humility that allowed him to be the greatest player that he can be.

The young boy who came into the league straight out of high school with youthful energy — and arrogance — retired from the game a man of stature — of maturity — that many people respect and admire.

But what does maturity do to a man? How does a young boy grow up into real manhood

Of Manhood and Manliness

Manhood. The natural process of growth that little boys experience. It involves not just physical growth but also developing maturity. However, not all men are created equal, and not all who grow up to be men physically also develop the maturity supposed to go with it.

One of the challenges of this present generation is how the definition of manhood has been twisted into something that caters mostly to the male ego and has gone quite far from what it’s supposed to be. There is not much difference between manliness and chauvinism, and unfortunately, many people — even men — have grown confused with the two. It has become toxic.

While most of us have our fair share of blunders caused by the arrogance of youth, sometimes that youthful pride does not ever go away, which leaves a lot of fully grown men hurting and hurting the ones they love. All that pain is just because of immaturity.

10 Things Real Mature Men Don’t Do

By definition, maturity is reaching adulthood or the state of full development as a person. But what does it really mean? What does true maturity look like in a man?

They don’t allow fear and insecurities to paralyze them

A lot of men fail to reach their full potential because of their fears and insecurities. A real mature man acknowledges his shortcomings and embraces his fear but still goes on anyway. They understand that overcoming fears and getting over insecurities is the way to growth.

They don’t go around doing things to please other people

One thing admirable about mature men is their no-nonsense attitude when it comes to pleasing others. They understand that it is impossible — and highly stressful — to go around pleasing others to get affirmation.

They don’t belittle women and children and take them for granted

If there’s one important thing all men should know, it’s to always be respectful to women and children and never take them for granted. Real maturity understands that gender-based differences and generational gaps should never make them feel superior to anyone.

They don’t hold a person to a fault and are quick to forgive

A lot of fights were caused by egos and the inability to overlook an offense. It takes a lot of maturity to diffuse a heated situation and overlook an offense, even if it was intentional. Real men know when to stand their ground and when to release forgiveness, even if the offending party never apologizes.

They don’t distance themselves from or cut ties with their loved ones

People think that independence is one of the marks of a true man, but on the contrary, a real man knows that no man is an island. Men like this know the true value of relationships and how they mold them into becoming better people.

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They don’t let other people take advantage of them and push them around

While a gracious and forgiving man is admirable, it also takes real maturity to stand up against people who try to take advantage of others. A good man knows when to defend his and other people’s rights in the face of cowardly bullying.

They don’t keep a defeatist attitude when faced with challenges

Men aren’t supposed to be whiners and complainers. It’s one thing to express an opinion, but throwing tantrums and feeling entitled to everything is an entirely different thing. When crap hits the fan, their maturity takes over and keeps them going, not even entertaining thoughts of surrender and defeat.

They don’t complain about their responsibilities

Maturity never shuns responsibility, no matter how hard it is. Nobody said the job of tile setters or farm helpers, for instance, would be easy. Regardless of job and duties, real men show up every day, get the job done, and remain thankful for the ability and opportunity to provide for their families.

They are not afraid to show their emotions.

A display of emotions is considered a sign of weakness among many people. But that’s not entirely true. One of the manliest men ever to have lived, King David (yes, the guy who slew Goliath) was a very emotional man who knew how to express himself. Yet no one ever thought him any less of a man. He is even revered as the greatest king to have ever lived in history. So yes, it is completely okay — and quite normal — to let your emotions show, whether it’s joy, sorrow, worry, gratitude, or whatever.

They don’t let their egos get the best of them

Lastly, egos don’t matter to them. They understand that thinking highly of themselves more than they ought to can be destructive. It can destroy their work, opportunities, relationships, and ultimately, themselves. So they keep their egos in check and sets them aside for the benefit of everyone.

Real maturity has nothing to do with a man’s age but rather how he conducts himself before the world and when he’s alone. Maturity, at the end of the day, is all about a man’s character and integrity. And mature men are what this world needs today.

 

 

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