When your mother or father is close to dying, you are forced to prepare for the inevitable by removing them from a hospital and having them taken care of by professionals whose expertise is in hospice care services. Indiana has many facilities like these, so you will have no shortage of places to bring your terminally ill parent.
But when it is time to say goodbye, no matter how much you have prepared for the final moment, it is still hard to go through it. Despite how natural death may be, we will never get used to losing a loved one forever.
It may also be the reason you do not want to bring along your children. You want to spare them the pain of losing a family member. But bringing your kids to say goodbye to a loved one may be cathartic for your parent and even for you. Here are the things you should do.
Tell your kids what to expect
Before you head over to the hospice center, you should talk to your children first and explain where you are going and what they will see. Tell them that grandma or grandpa is going away soon, and so you all need to say goodbye.
Also, you need to tell your kids that their grandparent will not look the same when they were healthier. Tell them since your parent is sick, there will be lots of medicines and equipment in the room. This is so that your children will not get scared seeing all of the things inside the room.
Another thing you should inform your children about is the mental state of their grandma or grandpa. If your mother or father is already incoherent, let your little ones know that there is nothing to be worried about.
Answer your kids’ questions
Expect that your kids may have a few questions, if not a lot. Children are naturally inquisitive and nothing begs a lot of questions than death. So, if they throw you questions like, “How long will grandma live?” or “Will grandpa go to heaven?” answer as best as you can.
If you cannot find an answer to their questions, then be honest and just tell them you do not know. It does not matter if you cannot answer your children’s questions. It is more important that you are accommodating their thoughts.
Take note that their string of questions may be their way of coping with the complexity of death. If your kids stay quiet, on the other hand, let them be. Let your children grieve in their own way.
Encourage your kids to bring something
Nothing can brighten a person’s day more than a gift from a loved one, especially if the former is close to dying. So, if you and your children are going to visit your mother or father in a hospice facility, ask them to bring something, perhaps of a drawing of grandma or grandpa. This is also so that your parent can appreciate the fact that they will be remembered long after they are gone.